What's Your Issue Boo?
*Keisha M. Writes:
Dear As Told By Whit,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months. We are in love. We have no issues and never fight about anything except for one thing. He's never posted me on his social media, and I've never posted him on mine because he's never posted me on his. Childish I know, but I don't understand what the issue is. Every time I ask him about it, he says he's a private person and doesn't want everyone in his business. There is no sign anywhere on his social media that he is in a happy, committed relationship and I have a problem with that. We've gone on vacation, and he's posted photos as if he's traveling alone. He has no issues posting his friends or picture he takes with other females, but he will not post me. What do I do? Should I just drop the issue because we don't have any other problems in our relationship? I don't know what to do, and I'm lost. HELP!!!
As Told By Whit Writes:
Dear Keisha M.,
I don't think you should drop the issue because it apparently bothers you. If it didn't, you wouldn't be writing to me. I see his point of view about being a private person because I too am a private person. I don't believe that I need to share everything with the world. But that's my preference to do so. I do believe that people share way too much on social media and put too much of an emphasis on social media. Social media creates an alternate reality that isn't always necessarily true.
Far too many times have I heard the expression social media ruins relationships. This isn't true. People who use social media irresponsibly ruin relationships. Now a days people use social media as a stamp of commitment as well. So again I completely understand your point. Now, I say that to say this. People who do post about their significant other often and things go south, people are going to wonder what happened? You leave the door open for the world to openly have a peak into your relationship.
It comes down to the question of if you two are happy then who are you trying to prove your happiness too? Before the age of social media none of this mattered, but we do live in the digital age. With that being said here are my thoughts. I believe in action above everything. How does he act when you two are out in public together? How is he as a boyfriend? How is he as a person? Things like this matter over everything.
Honestly, I don't think it's worth breaking up over. This is something simple that can be solved easily. If he is sticking to his guns of being a private person, then take it as that. Believe him, but let him know how that looks to someone on the outside looking in. If he's fine with that, then that's a whole other conversation, but for now, communicate clearly how it makes you feel and see where that goes. People discount the power of clear communication, no one can argue with how their actions make you feel. Try it and update me.
Best Wishes Love!
* Names have been changed to protect privacy
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